two cents....

11 days!!!
The rain has hindered my plans today. Suppose to be working, but its too wet. Instead I wake late. From a dream about my house. Maybe I should call and make sure everything is ok. Then again, there was a woman that loved me and wanted to be with me. Wish I could call her and make sure everything is ok. Definately a dream. It felt good feeling that way again. Its sad, I know, when someone who is as young as myself, has to complain about love. What do I know of loss, pain, anger, and sorrow. What gives me the right to speak the blues. But if it was happiness that I spoke of, is that ok. Or again, am I too young to know what real happiness is suppose to feel like. I say young, but I guess I mean inexperienced. Who cares, details...
I go over it all in my head, like a movie on fast forward. The sun comes up and the sun goes down. But at the end of the day, she was happy and in love. And so was I. But somwhere towards the end of the montage, the flame that burned so brite and made everything seem so clear, now just flickers and leaves nothing but shadows and undecernable truths. And then in what feels like an instant, darkness. Cold shoulders, unexplainable mood swings, lack of desire, lack of intrest,...I am pathetic, I am a loser, I am a failure. I have been traveling along this highway of bliss and I missed all the street signs. Maybe my radio was to loud to hear the sirens. But it was a great song....